Distance

From the heart

Sometimes i think,
no matter when you will finally take me seriously,
i will always be here,
waiting for you.
I also thought that,
i would be like this, waiting for you forever.

But just then i realized,
i don't want to let go of your hands anymore,
i don't want to see you suffer anymore,
and i don't want to see you cry anymore.

Please don't tell me that you can take care of yourself,
that's lying to yourself,
and don't try to persuade me to give up on you,
because i don't know how to give up.
Don't ask me why i like you,
because i will keep on liking you.

Please let me be that person by your side,
who will protect you,
take care of you.

The Truth

When two people are together,
of course they loved.
When there were no worries, no anxieties,
of course they loved.
But when i realized that she could leave me at anything,
i had to face reality.
I'm not a person that is able to accept someone,
who could lost their dependability at any moment.

-Autumn's Concerto

Two people

"It's because it's an activity for two people,
when you have someone holding your hand,
you can go anywhere.
When you have someone replying,
you can say anything.
Because it's between two people,
even if it's something extremely dull,
it will still make you feel very blissful."

-Autumn's Concerto

Lonely Soul

She has never seen the sun for real,
just a reflection of it's beauty.

Just a wink of an eye,
but never the love she is needing so hard.

The pain, the anger,
they all fill space in her mind,
but empty the heart bit by bit.

Everyday she hopes and pray,
everyday the gaps get bigger,
everyday more lonely,
everyday more hidden,
everyday with a piece of her dead,
until her heart was empty and her head fully loaded,
that was the day she couldn't die no more.....
and yet,
she keeps on living.

Yummy Beer

The yummiest Beer i've ever tasted in my whole coming 25 years of my life; Kronenbourg 1664 Blanc.

Looks good, smells good, taste awesome!


Brief history of Kronenbourg 1664:

Kronenbourg 1664 beer is a leading French brand of beer. It has been brewed in France since 1664, the year the brand was launched. In its 342-year history, Kronenbourg 1664 beer has emerged as the leading brand in the market for beer in the country of its origin. It has also risen to the position of the second largest-selling brand of lager in the United Kingdom. The hops used in the making of Kronenbourg 1664 are aromatic hops. These hops are specially supplied to the manufacturers of the Kronenbourg 1664 brand from the province of Alsace in France.

Apart from Kronenbourg 1664 (abbreviated as K1664), the other brands produced by Brasseries Kronenbourg include such other brands of beer as the gold medal-winning beverage Premier Cru and Blanc. Kronenbourg 1664 won a gold medal at the prestigious Brewing Industry International Awards ceremony in 2004. The latest feather in Kronenbourg 1664's cap comes in the form of a gold medal won at the International Beer Competition in 2005 by Premier Cru. This award was for the best brand in the strong lager category.



laters/

Grievings;

The five stages of grief:

Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”

Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”


While loss affects people in different ways, many people experience the following symptoms when they’re grieving. Just remember that almost anything that you experience in the early stages of grief is normal – including feeling like you’re going crazy, feeling like you’re in a bad dream, or questioning your religious beliefs.

Shock and disbelief – Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone you love has died, you may keep expecting them to show up, even though you know they’re gone.

Sadness – Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.

Guilt – You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn’t say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done.

Anger – Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry at yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.

Fear – A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.

Physical symptoms – We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia

Coping with grief and loss:

Get support - Turn to friends and family members, draw comfort from your faith, join a support group or talk to a therapist or grief counselor.
(I think turn to friends and family is the best option, find a friend whom you can turn to, a friend whom you trust. Usually, it's ya long years best friend)

Take care of yourself - Face your feelings(You can't avoid it forever), express your feelings in a tangible or creative way(Like journals or even write a letter to ya loved ones to tell them how you feel), look after ya own physical health, Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either, Plan ahead for grief “triggers”.


I am so trying to tell myself all these.
Which stage am i at now?
I'm still in a total denial.
What's next?

For all friends out there who have lost their loved ones, lets all learn and be strong! Lets try our best eh!

We can do it, can we?


Sincerely yours,
beejaeee

Long Lost Love

You are like the girl of my dreams.





None others are more worthy than you.

I will work towards you my love; Wrangler.


All yours,
beejaeee

盧廣仲-我愛你

Somehow i just feel so happy singing along to this song. :)
This fella is amazing.

Seeking for witnesses!

On 28th June 2010 at 10.22am on PIE towards Changi Airport right before BKE Exit, a lorry collided with my sister who was riding a Yamaha X1R with Hello Kitty Decal (They call her the Hello Kitty Rider)and took her life.
Please help! If you happened to have witnessed my little sister's fatal accident, please contact me at my email; audreyguomj@gmail.com

Cobain's Words;

With all my love

Chirbit | Share audio easily | beejaeee | for you zhen;

In Loving Memories Of My Beloved Little Sis; Candy Kwek

Lost

It's been a while since i've last blogged, so a big Hello to all. :)

Recently, i have lost someone so dear to me.

At the age of 21, my little sister had been a great influence to me and family.

Me, as the eldest in the family had never really taken family as my priority and never did i do my part.

She did hers and did mine too.

After she left this world then i came to realize that there's so much that i had done to cause misery to herself and my parents.

So much guilt and regrets towards her, i feel that i had never done enough for her, always taking her for granted.

But it's all too late now.

There's so much i wish i could do for her and tell her.

I wanna tell her how much i wanna hug her in my arms and tell her i love her.

I hope that she knows that i love her.

Crying myself to sleep every night,

everywhere i go,

everything i see in this room reminds me of her,

but i know i gotta learn to let go and that she's in a much better place now; with God.

"When i had the time to tell you, never thought i'd live to see the day. When the words i should have said would come to haunt me, in my darkest hour i tell myself i'll see you again."

Cherish everyone around you and tell them how you truly feels before it's too late, especially your family members.

Candy, the lost of your life had truly made me understand that i could never live my life the way i did before and that i have to learn to treasure people around me like how you did.

(This applies to everyone out there, i believe Candy would want you guys to know this as well.)

You will always be remembered by all of us;

You're gone but never forgotten.

Loving you always.

PS: We'll always be sisters.

In Loving Memories Of Candy Kwek

Beloved Hello Kitty Rider

Born: 24th April 1989

Departed: 28th June 2010